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Coping with anger

Realize that you have a choice in how you respond to situations. With practice, you can choose not to get angry.

Figure out what triggers your anger. Once you know your triggers, try the problem-solving approach to work through situations in which you'll likely respond with anger.

Talk to yourself. What's really causing your anger, and is it all that important? Tell yourself to calm down and not to yell or strike out.

Express your frustration calmly. Words spoken in anger will cause stress reactions in your body. The same words spoken calmly won't.

Walk away and take deep breaths. Come back when you're calm.

Try to understand the other person's point of view, and listen without anger.

Don't assume people are out to get you. Learn to separate the person from the behaviour.


Sometimes things can go wrong. Where you face relationship problems, your attitude will often determine the amount of stress you experience.

If somebody is sarcastic and rude to you:
remember that this is probably caused by a fault in their character. They are probably irritating and offending many other people as well. Examine any comment rationally: if it is unfair, then reject it. If rude comments are fair, then learn from them. Do remember, though that one person's vice may be another person's virtue: what seems stubborn to one person may seem firm-minded to another.

If someone hurts you:
do not bear grudges, if you do, you will tend to chum them over in your mind. This will damage your vital positive attitude to life, may cause stress and may interfere with the quality of your sleep. Forgiveness is important in maintaining relationships that are important, providing that the forgiveness is genuine. You may decide, however, not to forget the fact of the hurt - it makes sense to confront, avoid or circumvent people who are unnecessarily hurtful.

If you are facing a frustrating situation:
where unnecessary obstacles are put in your way, or people you are dealing with are being indecisive or unhelpful, then using relaxation techniques can be useful. This helps you to remain calm with people.

If someone is annoying you:
it is almost always best to remain calm and neutral, if only because you will be able to think and react more clearly and effectively.

If you find you can't manage your anger on your own, consider talking with your doctor or a mental health professional.

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